top 10 of * wars

reasons to enjoy
10. its star wars, you just have to see it
9. more cgi than you can shake a stick at
8. all that backstory that was hinted at in episodes 4-6 are not blatantly put forth
7. yoda
6. lightsabers are so shiny, so shiny
5. jar jar doesn't talk
4. darth vader
3. yoda
2. uh... wookies?
and the number one reason to enjoy * wars is...
1. yoda. he's just that cool.

or maybe, the movie is just that bad.
which brings us to...

reasons not to enjoy
10. who the fuck wrote such a crapy script?!?!?!?!!?!?! o, right, george lucas
9. jar jar does the best acting (see above, number 5)
8. they kill a bunch of little kids... not cool
7. realism... there's no sound in space!!!
7. for serious tho, r2 lands on the ship, and is able to get a map, and can control anything on the ship. what happened to security?
6. hadyn christensen is the worst actor on the face of the earth. HE IS LIKE A FUCKING TALKING WALL. THERE ARE AT LEAST 40 OF HIS LINES A 4 YEAR OLD COULD HAVE DELIVERED MORE CONVINCINGLY. "we're coming in hot" comes to mind.
5. wookies are not that cool. and they didn't do anything either.
4. not enough chinese people. in the movie, and in directing of the action sequences. the quality, just ain't there.

3, 2, and 1. Natalie Portman is pregnant for the entire movie. AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.


AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.

there's this scene, where she has a really short skirt. but right above that, she's pregnant.


so... dissappointing...